Tony Bock

If the reality show concept that finally brings together the...

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 15:32:53 -0400

If the reality show concept that finally brings together the potent mix of ballet and Salt Lake City doesn’t pull the CW out of the ratings cellar, I don’t know what will!

THE ROAD TO DEBT IS PAVED WITH MY INTENTIONS

Wed, 30 May 2012 13:17:00 -0400

THE ROAD TO DEBT IS PAVED WITH MY INTENTIONS

HIM: …and The Black Crowes- ME: You mean Keys. HIM: Huh? ME: It’s ‘The Black...

Tue, 29 May 2012 19:21:43 -0400

HIM: …and The Black Crowes- ME: You mean Keys. HIM: Huh? ME: It’s ‘The Black...

HOLOGRAM TO GREET AND GUIDE TRAVELERS AT N.Y. AIRPORTS “We were inspired by the realism of the...

Tue, 22 May 2012 15:40:48 -0400

HOLOGRAM TO GREET AND GUIDE TRAVELERS AT N.Y. AIRPORTS “We were inspired by the realism of the...

SHE SAYS: “I don’t care…” SHE MEANS: “I care! Don’t!”

Mon, 21 May 2012 16:33:04 -0400

SHE SAYS: “I don’t care…” SHE MEANS: “I care! Don’t!”

Medvedev was first to correctly guess “World War II”...

Sat, 19 May 2012 22:43:28 -0400

Medvedev was first to correctly guess “World War II” during the G8 charades game held earlier today.

Here’s my Trillion Dollar App Idea: O.P.P. Other...

Fri, 18 May 2012 17:01:56 -0400

Here’s my Trillion Dollar App Idea:

O.P.P.

Other People’s Portfolios

It’s kinda’ like twitter or Instagram, just it cuts through the bullshit and puts out our financial statements and net worth in real time “statme updates” so we can finally cross the threshold and just outright rate/judge our “friends”/enemies/frenemies in the only thing that matters:

Their wealth.

I mean, sure, my hundreds of pics and tweets strongly imply I’m doing well, but I NEED everyone to know HOW WELL!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Cuz Instagram is only so much fun. A picture is worth a thousand words, but a thousand words ain’t worth shit.

And twitter can only be so cool. The pen is mightier than the sword, but a pen ain’t mightier than a sensible bond strategy, a six-figure salary and high yield tax-sheltered investments.

You down with O.P.P.???

Bet’cha The Hamstring hates so casually being referred to as the “hammy” in sports...

Wed, 16 May 2012 16:14:22 -0400

Bet’cha The Hamstring hates so casually being referred to as the “hammy” in sports...

I am Fauxially Conscious, though…

Tue, 15 May 2012 16:29:40 -0400

I am Fauxially Conscious, though…

Nothing kicks off the week like a special FREEMATION deal in the...

Mon, 14 May 2012 15:47:31 -0400

Nothing kicks off the week like a special FREEMATION deal in the mail! Although I don’t get how it can be pre-paid and free,but whatever…

Intriguing junk mail, but I guess I’ll wait ‘til the Living Social Cremation special before I pull the trigger on anything.

"MITT GETS BETTER"

Thu, 10 May 2012 16:37:56 -0400

INT. OFFICE - DAY A crazed, yet determined MITT ROMNEY, threateningly brandishing a pair of...

Dear Silver & White Hairs Prominently Sprouting Out The Front Of Snoop Dogg & Howard...

Wed, 09 May 2012 18:20:49 -0400

Dear Silver & White Hairs Prominently Sprouting Out The Front Of Snoop Dogg & Howard...

Yes, that’s the note Apple employees get when they...

Mon, 07 May 2012 18:12:55 -0400

Yes, that’s the note Apple employees get when they start… here in America.

In a ***WORLD EXCLUSIVE*** I’ve had one of the notes you get when you start in the Asian operation translated:

The FUCK are you doing reading this? That sweatshop ain’t gonna Overlord itself!!!! Crack the whip!

Whoo-teesh, whoo-teesh! (whip sounds)

MUSH!

A Drinking Problem?

Sat, 05 May 2012 16:44:00 -0400

Yeah, I got one… It’s what to start with on what I call the “Double Whammy”...

‘CHIMPANZEE’ A DISNEY FILM NARRATED BY TIM...

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 19:05:25 -0400

‘CHIMPANZEE’ A DISNEY FILM NARRATED BY TIM ALLEN

Isn’t *gruntgruntgrunt* Tim Allen *gruntgruntgrunt* narrating a film about Chimpanzee’s blatantly speciesist???

BILLION DOLLAR$, folks…

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:49:17 -0400

BILLION DOLLAR$, folks…

HOMEMADE CHEDDAR BEER SOUP: Scrumptious! HOMEMADE CREAM OF ASPARAGUS BEER SOUP: Sign of a problem.

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 16:22:00 -0400

HOMEMADE CHEDDAR BEER SOUP: Scrumptious! HOMEMADE CREAM OF ASPARAGUS BEER SOUP: Sign of a problem.

I’m getting PISSED OFF at these morons who are saying Ann...

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 17:39:01 -0400

I’m getting PISSED OFF at these morons who are saying Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life…

YOU try learning enough Spanish to tell the gardeners what to do, enough French so the Au Pair knows what to do, enough Filipino to make sure the maid knows what to do, enough Portuguese so the nanny knows what to do and enough Italian for the chef to know what to do!

And if you don’t think getting the Austrian Warmbloods ready for an extended trot upper-level dressage competition is work, then I don’t think you really know what work is…

IRRECONCILABLE APPEARANCES

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 18:01:44 -0400

THE HEIDI KLUM - SEAL DIVORCE SAGA (workin’ on some rilly rilly goood fan fic 2day u guyz!!!)

TACKLE THE PERFECT WORKOUT TRAIN WITH AN NFL PLAYER I got an...

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:06:04 -0400

TACKLE THE PERFECT WORKOUT

TRAIN WITH AN NFL PLAYER

I got an e-mail with the subject “Train With an NFL Player”… Screw the training, I was scared just to open the e-mail.

Then I looked at the events and saw I could attend “Powerflow Yoga” with T.J. Houshmandzadeh on Saturday if I wanted… Now normally I prefer to do yoga alone, in the privacy of my own home, where I can fart away and not ruin my chances with twenty-five beautiful women at once.

But could a meathead be guru? Yoga can be dangerous, let alone whatever the hell “Powerflow Yoga” is - especially if it’s being led by someone inexperienced.

It’s probably safer than some of the other activities the NFL has planned, though:

SEAN PAYTON & GREGG WILLIAMS teach you how to ATTACK YOUR NEW WORKOUT STRATEGIES using financial and physical incentives.

WAYNE CHREBET takes you through some challenging CEREBELLUM BLASTERS.

JIM MCMAHON looks LOST.

TROY AIKMAN perfects HIPPOCAMPUS TWISTS.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER teaches a special HANDS-ON CHEST & PELVIC TONING seminar (*ladies only*).

JIM MCMAHON looks really LOST. Seriously.