The more time I spend here the more it seems to me that being in New York City is just like being in a casino.
There’s something about the energy - a kinetic cocaine consciousness…
No matter how down you are, as long as you’re here - inside - you’re not losing. You’ve only lost once you get outside of it - to nowhere, basically. ‘Cause if you’re outside are you anywhere really?
Are you anything?
It’s happening in here. And although you might be down, down lower than you’ve ever been in your whole entire life, you stay collected…focused…because when you’re in here you’re just one play away, one chance away, one encounter away from it happening just like you envisioned before you walked in…
Before you steadied yourself…
Before you settled in.
You know it happens here because there’s no separation of the classes when you’re in the game. This is key. You can see it all before you. It flashes before your own eyes - confirming, validating, instructing…
You’re in this game amongst Prostitutes and Preachers, Brokers and Boatmen, Hipsters and Hustlaz-
You think you’ve seen money from watching movies & TV before. But you hadn’t seen anything ‘til you got here and saw money walking around right in front of you, breathing, holding a Jack & Coke, affecting events in front of your very eyes!
It changes you. It changes everything about you.
You read the books, you knew the “rules,” you absorbed the mythology and prepared the best you could’ve before you came in…
And the longer you find yourself at this game, the more moot everything you thought you knew before becomes, the more confusing watching others win gets, the more frequent the question you find yourself asking about others, time-after-time-after-time, is:
“WAS IT LUCK…OR SKILL?”
And the more haunting the question you ask of yourself (“Will anyone ever wonder that about me?”) becomes, time-after-time-after-time…
Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping!
You find it hard to sleep with these noises ricocheting around your head.
But there’s no solace in the past - history is of no help to you in here. Don’t romanticize it. Don’t ponder whether you’re in the wrong times… The sick part is - the bells and whistles of today may be a little more advanced, but fundamentally it’s never been any different here, at any time.
MONEY! That’s why. There is no art here! Please! There is no nothing else but the dollar - that’s the reason this place exists, and looks like it does, and attracts the people it attracts.
Don’t let anyone try and convince you otherwise… And, yeah, the door’s over there - see everyone in here? They won’t waste a second being concerned after you’ve left.
That’s right. Sit back down. Stiffen your spine. Sip that drink.
Play your hand once more.