THE BOCK INDEX
In honor of Harper’s Magazine making their famous Index searchable on-line, I thought I’d do a Bock Index for y’alls…
Estimated hours of productivity lost today due to reading about The Jonas Brothers: 2.5
Estimated hours of productivity lost today due to conversing with “Candy” from 1-900-REAL-ASS: 3.5
Percentage of flask finished by lunch: 65
Number of times laughed “with”: 0
Number of times laughed “at”: 456
Chances that I’ll sob openly on the subway on the way home: 1 in 6
Rank of Joe Jonas: 1
Average number of seconds into fantasy description to “Candy” that I went into uncontrollable giggling: 11
Number of hours spent marvelling at the hilarity that is “Howie Do It” on Hulu.com: 2.5
Amount of eyebrows raised in meeting with head of HR about “the incident”: 1
Estimated percentage of effort given at work today: 3
Sexual acts depicted in my notes taken at an important work meeting: 14
Lines of notes taken at an important work meeting: 0
Rank of Nick Jonas: 2 (Tied)
Estimated percentage of a shit given at work today: 0
Number of people reading this website today: 1
Number of people not named Tony Bock reading this website today: 0
Number of animals harmed in the making of this index: 4
