SUCKONOMIX
The Hidden Side of Being Poor
A VERY SUCKONOMIX CHRISTMAS/”The HOW TO AFFORD GIFTS (for others!) Conundrum”
Christmas is coming soon and societal norms indicate it’s appropriate for you to give a gift to someone other than yourself for once…and since gifts usually cost money it can be a frightening time of year for the poor amongst us who desperately need to hoard our cash for alcohol and drugs and drugs.
And alcohol!
Not to worry! I have some suggestions that will keep your pocketbook pudgy and your family and friends hearts filled with love and appreciation. I call it the A.S.A.I. Strategy (“Art Swag Apology Information”) and it will work for you this holiday season!
Let’s start with art. Art can pretty much be anything… Here in New York you can find some pretty cool and unique trash right on the street 24/7 - take advantage of that - turn some of it into a special “art piece” for some of your more liberal/senile relatives - this gift will be a hit! (Tell ‘em you bought it from some “indie” artist if you want! It doesn’t matter!)
Swag is free stuff you get from work. Gift that shit, son! Who doesn’t want some ABC network pens…or some ABC network notepads… or some ABC network motherfucking key fobs!!! Killer gifts!!!
Apology - this one is pretty much a guaranteed hit for your parents - an apology…for everything will be one of the most cherished gifts they ever receive!
Finally…Information…Know how you’re always avoiding calls from friends and family ‘cause you don’t want to answer their questions? Well, give them some information! Make it easy for them… Answer their questions… The gift of your response should be more than enough to ensure a great 2009 Holiday Season!
