Michele, the HPV vaccine doesn’t cause retardation, your fuckin’ insane campaign “platform” causes retardation…
Ron, I’m a pussy and I have chunks of stool that could beat your ass. Yeah, let’s NOT kill the terrorists! Great strategy!
Rick, fuck you. I’ve never seen anybody shoot themselves in the foot while their foot was in their mouth before I saw you “debate”… Impressive!
Herman, what’s the difference between Libya and Lebanon? Watch out, folks - his head’s gonna explode! Go harass a second-rate pizza joint waitress, you imbecile.
Newt, I have so much dirt on you you’re gonna need a fuckin’ bulldozer. Soon you’ll be abandoning this campaign like it’s a wife with a terminal illness.
Jon, I almost forgot about you - like everyone else on the planet. You’re like Dole without the charisma and sense of humor.
Rick, I just googled ‘Santorum’ and THAT would have a better chance of winning the nomination than you. And would be a better President.
I’m Mitt Romney, Goddamnit, and I approve this message.
