Some nights… Your stand-up hits. The crowd is with you on everything. Everything! When you get into that zone, when you’re lucky enough to almost be able to channel that energy, when everyone gets it then your spine tingles and you’ve achieved one of the highest possible highs. You’re invincible and fearless. It’s why you do this. Some nights… You’ve seen a couple of the fools who’ve gone before you eaten alive. And you get up there and it’s…actually a good set that goes over well. You feel relieved and energized. Some nights… You’ve seen a couple of the fools who’ve gone before you eaten alive. And you get up there and it’s…painful. But expected. You plow through your set. You get over it in about ten seconds, giving yourself credit for hanging tough and sticking it out. Some nights… You don’t know. But every act is getting something from the crowd, so you don’t worry too much… especially when/if you’ve been on a hot streak - you’re gonna own them, you think, as you smugly sip away at your beer. And you get up there, start it off - and it’s nothing… there’s nothing… there’s FUCKING NOTHING! Not laughter, not even active disinterest, just people sitting there existing like plants - staring right at/through you, in dramatic shadow with arms folded, into your very soul. They’re watching you tell your “comedy” - but that’ll be all… It’s like how the new Star Trek movie uses the silence of space so hauntingly and effecitively in certain scenes, just this is real and this is fucking much more terrifying. NOTHING! And it throws your whole game off - and, worst of all, they know - the reel of film that is you doing your act and trying new stuff and “having fun” is playing, but the reel that’s supposed to be cued up simultaneously with it - the audience reacting, laughing, “having fun” hasn’t cued up right!!! It’s not working… Even though it seemingly worked just seconds ago… You were there! You saw it before! So…what’s going on???…why this glitch in the matrix? why now? the only thing different is…me- On those nights… You get back to your place in Brooklyn about 1:45 AM, cold 32 oz of Sol in your hands on a hauntingly cool and lonely June New York evening - you take your set list (written out with great care on a note card) up to your roof, light it on fire, and watch it burn as you toss it into the grill, hoping the flame takes care of more than just the order you’d had high hopes for just hours before… Burn! Burn you damn worthless set! Burn!

Some nights…

Your stand-up hits. The crowd is with you on everything. Everything! When you get into that zone, when you’re lucky enough to almost be able to channel that energy, when everyone gets it then your spine tingles and you’ve achieved one of the highest possible highs. You’re invincible and fearless. It’s why you do this.

Some nights…

You’ve seen a couple of the fools who’ve gone before you eaten alive. And you get up there and it’s…actually a good set that goes over well. You feel relieved and energized.

Some nights…

You’ve seen a couple of the fools who’ve gone before you eaten alive. And you get up there and it’s…painful. But expected. You plow through your set. You get over it in about ten seconds, giving yourself credit for hanging tough and sticking it out.

Some nights…

You don’t know. But every act is getting something from the crowd, so you don’t worry too much… especially when/if you’ve been on a hot streak - you’re gonna own them, you think, as you smugly sip away at your beer.

And you get up there, start it off - and it’s nothing… there’s nothing… there’s FUCKING NOTHING! Not laughter, not even active disinterest, just people sitting there existing like plants - staring right at/through you, in dramatic shadow with arms folded, into your very soul. They’re watching you tell your “comedy” - but that’ll be all… It’s like how the new Star Trek movie uses the silence of space so hauntingly and effecitively in certain scenes, just this is real and this is fucking much more terrifying.

NOTHING!

And it throws your whole game off - and, worst of all, they know - the reel of film that is you doing your act and trying new stuff and “having fun” is playing, but the reel that’s supposed to be cued up simultaneously with it - the audience reacting, laughing, “having fun” hasn’t cued up right!!! It’s not working… Even though it seemingly worked just seconds ago… You were there! You saw it before! So…what’s going on???…why this glitch in the matrix? why now? the only thing different is…me-

On those nights…

You get back to your place in Brooklyn about 1:45 AM, cold 32 oz of Sol in your hands on a hauntingly cool and lonely June New York evening - you take your set list (written out with great care on a note card) up to your roof, light it on fire, and watch it burn as you toss it into the grill, hoping the flame takes care of more than just the order you’d had high hopes for just hours before…

Burn! Burn you damn worthless set! Burn!

∞ 2 years ago