Socratic exchange between Sober Me and Drunken Me on the subject of peanut eating:
Sober Me: Nice bag of peanuts you got there…
Drunken Me: Sure is! Nice BIG bag! Mmmm!!!!
Sober Me: And I assume you’ve got a plan on how to handle those shells?
Drunken Me: Define “plan”.
Sober Me: A proposed course of action.
Drunken Me: I have a big bag of nuts!
Sober Me: And you’re just gonna toss the shells on the floor?
Drunken Me: Whatever, dude! Hold on a second-
Drunken Me eats a handful of peanuts, tossing the shells on the floor.
Sober Me: Damn you!
Drunken Me: Turn that stereo up! Mmmm! PEANUTS GOOD!!!!
Sober Me: But then I have to clean up all the shells!
Drunken Me: I don’t give a damn about you!
Sober Me: But all you have to do is toss the fucking shells in the trash! It couldn’t be easier, yet there you sit just tossing the shells ON THE FLOOR!!!!!
Drunken Me: (Snortles)
Sober Me: I had to ban sunflower seeds, it may be time to do the same with peanuts.
Drunken Me: You’re gonna LOVE my nuts! Oh, that’s funny!
Sober Me: And do you have to walk around dropping them all over the place? Jeez - it wouldn’t even be so bad if they were dropped in one place on the floor but you-
Drunken Me: (Laughing hysterically)
Sober Me: Dude- Dude! Wake up!
Drunken Me: (Snoring)
