Dear Cracker Jack,  While at a concert the other night I was feeling particularly festive and uncharacteristically bought a bag of your product at the venue.  I enjoyed it! But I have a gripe. There was one-half of one peanut in the entire bag!!! That’s unacceptable!!!!  I know the peanut must be the most costly item in the bag, but half a nut is laughable.  I thought, “Surely this is far less than is historically appropriate for a Cracker Jack bag…” but then I remembered “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” - and the lyric “buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,” and I wondered why would the kid need peanuts AND Cracker Jack if there were a sufficient level of peanuts in the Cracker Jack?  HE WOULDN’T!  So I think you’ve been ignoring the pleas of your customers long enough! Throw some more freakin’ nuts in there, man! Sanely yours - seriously! Tony

Dear Cracker Jack, 

While at a concert the other night I was feeling particularly festive and uncharacteristically bought a bag of your product at the venue. 

I enjoyed it! But I have a gripe. There was one-half of one peanut in the entire bag!!! That’s unacceptable!!!! 

I know the peanut must be the most costly item in the bag, but half a nut is laughable. 

I thought, “Surely this is far less than is historically appropriate for a Cracker Jack bag…” but then I remembered “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” - and the lyric “buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,” and I wondered why would the kid need peanuts AND Cracker Jack if there were a sufficient level of peanuts in the Cracker Jack? 

HE WOULDN’T! 

So I think you’ve been ignoring the pleas of your customers long enough! Throw some more freakin’ nuts in there, man!

Sanely yours - seriously!

Tony

∞ 1 year ago