Dear Axe Body Spray,
I would like a refund of $1,113.22 as I believe you engaged in false advertising that led me to buy your product over and over again.
I happily bought your product and sprayed it, at various times and in various places (balls!), over a span of weeks and not once did:
- a dripping wet model grind with me on the club dance floor
- a woman clad only in a bikini chase me through a forrest
- various attractive female coffee shop employees lick whip cream off their fingers suggestively towards me
- a hot girl at a pool party enjoy/laugh off me putting ice cubes down her bikini
- a woman push the elderly lady in the wheelchair out of distance to blatantly hit on me with dancing and “porno” sound effects
- I get the ability to execute a complete cartwheel on a motorcycle, X-Games style
- two girls lick my face in a movie theatre
- a teacher stop herself in the middle of a lesson after smelling me walk by to blatantly hit on me
- a horde of bikini clad beauties chase me thorugh a forrest
- a woman touch herself suggestively after getting on an elevator with me, then stop the elevator, then, apparently, have sex with me on the stopped elevator
And, frankly…the shit smell kinda’ nasty.
I want that money back!
Regards,
Tony Bock
