I am to comedy
what Muzak is to comedy
HER: I’m half-Spanish, half-French…
ME: Hola La La!
I’m on such a cold streak that tinder rejected my profile request and suggested I check out Myspace.
The Worst Impression of All Time would be me doing an impression of Bill Clinton’s Bono impression.
thinks this campaign is stupid
thinks this campaign is really, really stupid
I’VE GOT 99 PROBLEMS
and played out ‘99 Problems’ jokes are like 99 of ‘em.
I don’t know about you, but:
and “Promotions” don’t really describe the contents of mine.
Hateful YouTube Comments [22 new]
Comedy Shows So Insignificant They Want ME To Perform
That’s way more accurate!
Thanks, New York Times, for that vital, breaking newsflash. ‘Cuz when you think “cheap” + “home,” most everyone immediately thinks Manhattan.
Get the word out, people!
I didn’t even read the story, but I assume they advise looking in San Francisco.
I wanted to TELL jokes…
not BE a joke!
J.B. SMOOVE MOVE EX-LAX
"A new study
has found 28% of journalism graduates wish they had chosen another field.”
32% of journalism graduates are too beat down by life and poverty to remember what the concept of a ‘wish' (a hope or desire for something! ha!) means anymore.
44% of journalism graduates are too busy prepping slideshows, listicles and gif’s for the BREAKING NEWS “Kim Kardashian Poses With Instagram Creator In New Selfie" to respond to any polling questions right now.
100% of journalism graduates are finding their D.I.Y. depression treatments are interfering with their D.I.Y. rehab programs.
More like “Hemorrhoid Grove”
Feel free to use that.
I could play the shit out of “Breaking Bad (Opening Theme)” on the bongos.
I *LOVE* Tegan
I can’t stand Sara