So I just saw this new Fabreze ad - basically the family’s sitting around when an animated fish flies through the room, bothering everybody (last night’s dinner) - a spray of Fabreze and everything’s good…
Got me thinking about some follow-up’s for this campaign - perhaps an animated, flying log of shit comes out the bathroom, everyone looks, dad sprays a bit of Fabreze towards his backside and it goes away…
Or a guy comes home, late - his girlfriend rolls over in bed to see an animated, flying vagina come out of the guys pants, to great awkwardness, dude sprays a bit of Fabreze at his crotch and it goes away…
Fabreze: It’s a breath of fresh air!
And…You’re Welcome!
I was unable to do a post yesterday…
I had to just take a day to get back into a reasonable headspace…after the SHOCKING news of the day before…
Which - if you’ve been living under a rock - was this:
In Las Vegas, Nevada, an unnamed “escort” service was - fucking get this - passing around cards on the street that A) are using the image of a nude model WHO IS NOT ACTUALLY AN ESCORT AT ALL, LET ALONE ONE WORKING FOR THAT SERVICE!!!!!! and B) aren’t even using her REAL NAME!!!!!! and C) are lying - they’re claiming if you call that you’ll get that girl from the pic!
I have trouble even writing that it’s so preposterous!
If there’s one thing you pick up quick in the fast world of NYC/Vegas/Miami/Chicago/San Fran escorting, it’s this - when you see a picture and a name advertised - that’s the real girl and her real name that you get!!!
It’s just common courtesy - escort services run the risk of ruining their reputation or having complaints filed with the Better Business Bureau if they even considered lying about the appearance and name of their workers…
What’s this world coming to???
HIM: They say ignorance is bliss… and you’re one happy motherfucker!
ME: (pause) I just got that!
HIM: I was giving you ‘til next week to get that…
CORRECTION!
Okay, sorry… just looked up “Begrudge” in the dictionary… I was wrong before:
I DO begrudge anyone their success.
This is one of those ‘Complete the joke with your very own hilarious caption!’ posts…
I don’t know - but there’s somethin’ really funny to me about this photo, which I took in my apartment building (in making-everything-more-hilarious-always Park Slope, Brooklyn) today…
Related: I’ve read every single one of those books, but was too ashamed (?) to (even publicly & anonymously) give them away…(?)
?
Hmm… A Tim Burton/Johnny Depp “Alice in Wonderland” on IMAX 3D???
Wow!
I think I’m gonna need to be real sober when I go see that!
So… I’m not old enough to get in on the age discrimination lawsuit?!?!?!?!
Isn’t that…age discrimination?!
Can I file suit against a suit?
FANS TO ‘SNL’: WE WANT BETTY WHITE AS HOST!
A Facebook fan page called “Betty White to host SNL (please?)!” is blowing up and leading to media coverage!!!
Hell yeah!
Now maybe my Facebook fan page will finally lead to:
FANS TO ‘PLAYBOY’: WE WANT BETTY WHITE AS CENTERFOLD!
My problem with “Shutter Island” is that the “crazy old woman” looks like a fucking Rachel Dratch character and I laugh out loud every time I see it in the preview ad…
Yeah - it WAS light at the end of the tunnel that I saw…
But IT WAS A FUCKING FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT’S A TRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I’m the Mother Teresa of dudes!”
I exclaimed, in that humble way of mine…
Bad Expensive Art Boutique Name:
Art Garfunkel
So that’s Mad TV’s bit “Sopranos on Pax” - a hilarious sketch, the joke being there was so much editing you couldn’t even make sense of the episode due to the adult content…
In that spirit, may I suggest: A Louis CK comedy special on Nickelodeon - an hour special cut down to about four minutes of jump cuts & nonsensical segues…
I’m confused…
Ben Bernanke keeps his job and gets a bunch of credit for stopping a Depression last year, but…
I’m still really depressed!
What gives?
