I don’t know about you, but:
and “Promotions” don’t really describe the contents of mine.
Hateful YouTube Comments [22 new]
Comedy Shows So Insignificant They Want ME To Perform
That’s way more accurate!
Thanks, New York Times, for that vital, breaking newsflash. ‘Cuz when you think “cheap” + “home,” most everyone immediately thinks Manhattan.
Get the word out, people!
I didn’t even read the story, but I assume they advise looking in San Francisco.
I wanted to TELL jokes…
not BE a joke!
J.B. SMOOVE MOVE EX-LAX
"A new study
has found 28% of journalism graduates wish they had chosen another field.”
32% of journalism graduates are too beat down by life and poverty to remember what the concept of a ‘wish' (a hope or desire for something! ha!) means anymore.
44% of journalism graduates are too busy prepping slideshows, listicles and gif’s for the BREAKING NEWS “Kim Kardashian Poses With Instagram Creator In New Selfie" to respond to any polling questions right now.
100% of journalism graduates are finding their D.I.Y. depression treatments are interfering with their D.I.Y. rehab programs.
More like “Hemorrhoid Grove”
Feel free to use that.
I could play the shit out of “Breaking Bad (Opening Theme)” on the bongos.
I *LOVE* Tegan
I can’t stand Sara
This is probably as close as I’m gonna get to having my name on The Comedy Store wall of fame…
We’ll see if (a lot of) my urine can cut through black paint and make the “R” a “B”…
That’s Tony Rock - Chris’s brother. One time I was booked on a show in NYC and they thought they’d booked Tony Rock - Chris’s brother.
Hilarity DID NOT ensue.
"The entire organism doesn’t just die in an instant."
It’s actually a chemical reaction that methodically spreads, like a wave, from cell to cell until the whole individual is dead.
But, for any of us who’ve done stand-up comedy, this is not news. I’ve felt each singular cell of dignity in my body die a torturous, prolonged deathity death death death.
HER: I’m worried this is gonna show you in an unflattering light…
ME: That’s not possible!
I don’t call it my mouth
I call it my “buzz hole”
I think this proves all the talk about the industry dying was premature.
Clear Hearts, Full Eyes