January 2011
17 posts
ANNOUNCEMENT: My Start-Up!
I’m getting into the Spirit of Entrepreneurship and announcing my very own Start-Up! Or, as I like to think of it, my very own Halt-Down!
I call it the Achery - and it’s basically a communal bitchspace for failed start-ups in a smoke-filled box apartment in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn. I’d describe it’s mission as to create “a degrading, cross-sterilizing...
As for The State of the Union...
Well, I was just proud to represent The Great State of Drunkenness.
THE ENVELOPE, PLEASE...
And the winner of the 2011 “West-Swift Award” for Achievements in Most Fucking Ridiculously Overhyped Neverending CONTRIVEDVERSIAL Unnecessary Boring Awards Show Media Storm is… The Golden Globes Ricky Gervais “Controversial” Jokes ”Controversy”!!!
Congratulations! And Thank God Kanye wasn’t involved in any way! See you next Awards Media Storm!
FRANKLY,
everything I told you up to this point was not frank…
SPONSOR POST
Don’t miss your chance to take your failings to a whole new level! Renowned Failure and “The Ole’ Rut Coach” Tony Bock is about to embark on a pioneering new form of Failure Enhancement and you can get in on the ground floor! Modeled after many twelve-step programs, you can now have Tony Bock as your very own personal FAILURE SPONSOR! For a very large fee Tony Bock will...
MEDICAL STUDY: Too much TV time can hurt your heart
MY OWN PERSONAL STUDY: Too much TV work will break your heart
"Constructive Criticism"
builds sturdy walls of resentment!
When I’m “charming” I’m essentially “lying“…
SOCIALLY:
I’m a third wheel touching the third rail…