Tony Bock: Archive

Thing is...

When I said I’d do this website Pro Bono, I meant that I would be completely supportive of Chaz Bono’s sex/name change - not that I’d do all this shit for free!!! PAY ME!

Mar 31st

GOLDEN AGE

E*Trade Baby movie? Check! Okay… Hmm… How about Green Day’s “American Idiot” Broadway musical being turned into a - ahem - film? Check! But what if it were done by someone really well-respected, like, say… Tom Hanks? It is? YES! GREAT Now that we’re rolling - oh fuckit - let’s make “The Marriage Ref” the centerpiece of the...

Mar 30th

How many Tony Bock's does it take to screw in a...

One. The regularity and force with which Hollywood’s screwing me makes it easy - all I have to do is put the light bulb in my hand and point towards the ceiling and it’ll be in and glowing brightly in no time!!!

Mar 29th

Mar 27th

While the grass is always greener on the other...

…the currency never is.

Mar 25th

Mar 24th

Mar 23rd

Mar 22nd

Mar 19th

"Truth About Bankruptcy"

Yeah? I’m listening… FINALLY!!!! Some spam I can use! CLICK

Mar 18th

Good Christian Rapper Name:

FUN-‘da-Mentalist

Mar 16th

March MADNESS

Last year I posted my NCAA Tournament brackets - and they were fucking hilarious… As I don’t like to repeat myself, I was trying to think of what I could post this year that’s even funnier… And I damn near put my tax return up on this website… but it was more sad than funny…and not particularly believable for someone “living” in New York...

Mar 15th

ME: Well, I went to an all-boys Jesuit Catholic High School, so… HER: That explains so much… (contemplative pause) That explains so fucking much…

Mar 11th

WOMEN WHO DRINK GAIN LESS WEIGHT They’re keeping off the pounds by running from cops and from all that promiscuous, drunken sex! I predict drinking (and doing coke) will become the fad for girls trying to keep slim- wait, it already is?

Mar 10th

Mar 9th

So Saturday - due to a last minute cancellation - I was asked if I wanted to participate in “The Naked Comedy Showcase” to do stand-up comedy to an audience - completely nude! I seriously thought about saying yes… but didn’t… And not for the reason you’re thinking… I said no ‘cause I was embarrassed my tiny penis would get more laughs than my...

Mar 8th

Revenge

is a dish best served with horse manure styled to look like chocolate

Mar 5th

U.S. WILL DETERMINE WHO CAN BOARD SOME CANADIAN FLIGHTS Now whether they land on-time depends on whether the Air Traffic Controllers over here have a poopy diaper or not… If you hadn’t heard - a child was up in the tower directing traffic… which led me, of course, to a killer Reality Show idea! We let the kid (who really wasn’t that bad) do a number of other tasks...

Mar 4th

Watch

Zach Galifianakis & Vampire Weekend on one “SNL” episode is so EPIC that people all over Brooklyn - from Williamsburg to Park Slope - are considering pooling their monies together to buy a TV!

Mar 3rd

1 note

Well FUCK!

The Dollar Store DOES NOT take credit cards!

Mar 3rd

Mar 1st