June 2009
24 posts
I need a hug.
Or cash.
Preferably cash, actually.
I...don't know much...
…but I do know that “TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW” said sarcastically is not a response that goes over well during performance evaluations at my job.
Dear Bing,
I know this is cliche to say, but… I’m Just Not That Into You.
Sorry.
I think part of it was that you just came on so strong… There was a lot of pressure for me to make this “the decision engine” and…I did.
I’ve made my decision.
I don’t want you in my life anymore.
You’re just trying too hard!
You know?
My best to you.
Tony
ME: (taking beer) It’s like you read my liver!
HIM: Your liver’s an easier read than “My Pet Goat.”
Good Metal Band Name:
Vitiligo
"The Political Wilderness"
Coming to C-SPAN Reality This Fall, it’s:
Blagojevich. Edwards. Spitzer. Sanford.
“THE POLITICAL WILDERNESS”
Watch as the anti-Mount Rushmore of political leaders take promising young politicians out to a special obstacle course in the wilds of Argentina and instruct them on how best to tank their careers!
Watch young, impressionable state senators, activists and lawyers from...
=(
You’re supposed to diversify your investments, not your debt!
I got that one waaaaaaaaaaaay wrong….
Just waaaaay, waaaaaaaaay wrong.
FINALLY
a hit from the Black Eyed Peas that I really like!
WatchI don’t understand why everyone’s all pissed off at CNN for missing the moving, “big news” that’s developed because of twitter - they’ve been on it…
…maybe part of the issue is the headline from their site says “Lohan’s topless tweet raises eyebrows” which is incorrect. The part of the body raised by the photo was not eyebrows,...
This Day In Site History: June 18, 1910
Today we go back in the archives to see what was happening on the site on this day… 99 years ago:
So I go down to the nickelodeon to try and get the latest on the going’s-on in Nicaragua, when…
On the damn newsreel all they were showing was some bull about who Mary Pickford was dating and that President Taft had swatted a mosquito during an interview! (the telegraph is so much more...
EXCLUSIVE!
SARAH PALIN NEVER CALLED JON GOSSELIN
The story that Governor Palin has been counseling the controversial star of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” is totally false…
…and was kind of ridiculous when you really stopped to think about it. When would Governor Palin have had time for such frivolity? She’s been waaaay too busy of late feuding with a late night comedian!
‘Mediocre’ Arts Skills For American Eighth-Graders
Yeah, kind of a bummer, but a recent Department of Education study shows declining indicators since the test was last taken in 1997…
One bright spot is that the student of today’s familiarity with and ability to use Auto-Tune is up almost 95%!
"I'll not watch it when it goes to cable..."
Me on every Woody Allen movie of the past decade or so…
Good Band Name:
The Perpetual Was
And now
it’s time for today’s installment of “THINGS THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN SAID IN HOLLYWOOD”:
“‘Ya know… Tony Bock’s kinda’ new to this whole thing - he doesn’t know much. Let’s not take advantage of him here. Let’s help him out! Show him the ropes… The material’s good! Think of what could be done if we were just honest...
ONCE IN A GENERATION
a script is written that shakes a nation to it’s core, that makes us all smile, that changes the way we look at ourselves, that influences the youth, that creates new cliches, that shows us human beings being human, that tells the truth!, that generates new catch phrases used throughout the world, that shows the evolution of love on screen, that brings a tear to our eye, that changes the...
Socratic exchange between Sober Me and Drunken Me on the subject of peanut eating:
Sober Me: Nice bag of peanuts you got there…
Drunken Me: Sure is! Nice BIG bag! Mmmm!!!!
Sober Me: And I assume you’ve got a plan on how to handle those shells?
Drunken Me: Define “plan”.
Sober Me: A proposed course of action.
Drunken Me: I have a big bag of nuts!
Sober Me: And...
ME: So you said you enjoyed my charm offensive?
HER: No, I said I found your “charm”…offensive.
