December 2009
15 posts
His dad rolled the grime-caked winterblack S.U.V. to a slow, ice-conscious halt at the glowing red light and released a long, guttural, idling, pent-up sigh.
It was the sigh of a father who didn’t want his son to take this the wrong way, but… so much time and so many sleeplesstossingandturningnights had gone into these bone worries that he could no longer contain within himself.
His dad...
WARNING!
For anyone attending the 4:15 3-D “Avatar” showing today at Lincoln Square in Manhattan - I will be there…
And I WILL be making LOUD cracks after the movie starts to test for reactions from friends and the crowd to see what material is hitting. Around halfway through the movie I will be setting up a BRIGHT klieg light to videocast LIVE from inside the movie as it’s...
IN THEORY
She should really be into me…
ON PAPER
We’re great together…
IN REALITY
She thinks my name is “Andy”…
SUCKONOMIX
The Hidden Side of Being Poor
A VERY SUCKONOMIX CHRISTMAS/”The HOW TO AFFORD GIFTS (for others!) Conundrum”
Christmas is coming soon and societal norms indicate it’s appropriate for you to give a gift to someone other than yourself for once…and since gifts usually cost money it can be a frightening time of year for the poor amongst us who desperately need to hoard our...
Business is business
I just had to make a business-related call to someone I don’t know and have never spoken to before. It rings a few times and gets to the part where the person says their name followed by the automated voice saying “…is not available…” when the guy’s voice comes on and says “CRAP, BOOBS, CRAP” instead of a name…
I’m now SIGNIFICANTLY more...
Good Metal Band Name:
Medusa’s Asshole
Overheard at my apartment:
“Is anyone really mad at Tiger Woods, though?”
“Women… Rick Reilly… So, women…”
"Broke" doesn't do it Justice!
Nuked?
Somethin’ stronger than “broke” is desperately needed!
WatchAnyone got Natalie Portman’s e-mail?
Bad Pick-Up Line:
Name’s Tony Bock, damn glad to meet ‘ya!
This Day In Site History: December 4, 1989
Today we go back in the archives to see what was happening on the site on this day… 20 years ago:
REASON NUMBER A ZILLION WHY LIFE IS NOT FAIR
Mom’s being so unfair! She won’t let me use this word I made up - “futhermucker” - which isn’t a bad word! So why can’t I say it! That’s such a shullbit decision!!!
Ugh… Guess I’ll just go watch...
Yo!
Home Depot!
You call me one more time and I’ma: Fuck. You. Up!
Got it?!
Seriously.
You’ve called several times a day - sometimes as early as 6:04 fucking AM!!! - looking for “Carlos” - who, yes, rented some tools and didn’t return them, and gave them the number that you dialed - which is not Carlos’s number, but my number… Each time I’ve told you...
