September 2008
28 posts
I’m getting sick and tired of hearing how this financial crisis is going to effect Main Street. That’s all they ever talk about! What I want to know is how is this crisis going to effect 21st Street. In Brooklyn. Btw. 4th and 5th Ave. specifically. Can somebody answer me that?
TONY: The Board Game
For up to six (6) players!
Including…
Tokens: Shot Glass, Microphone, Toilet Scrubber Brush, Beer Mug, Pipe, Thimble
Arrest Warrants: Nebraska, New York, New Jersey, Iowa
Warning Posters: Nebraska, New York
“Beer Goggles”
“Jim Beam Goggles”
32 Courthouses
12 Jails
2 Halfway Houses
1 Rehabilitation Facility
1 Federal Maximum Security Prison
...
My Bucket List
* See my credit card debt go back to the four-digit range
* Pay off my student loans
* Have someone laugh with me
* To not have to pay every time after I end up meeting “the one”
* Have a vacation on an island that doesn’t have “Staten” in it’s name
* Taste wine not from a box
* Do an honest day’s work
* Tip someone more than 2% for their effort
*...
If there was a run on Commerce Bank right now...
I’d be out $9.39
Good Band Name:
pink argyle golf beret
TV Job Glossary of Terms
While having a conversation with a friend about the financial crisis, I quickly realized that some terms commonly used in TV jobs mean something completely different in corporate world jobs…
So here’s a helpful list of what these terms mean to someone working in TV:
Severance Package: A raised middle finger
Health Benefits: The First Aid kit that’s kept under the coffee...
twitter 2009
twitter.com users post frequent answers to the question: What are you doing? Today we look into the future, and see some of my twitters from the distant year of 2009:
tonybock is not seeing any job listings…again
tonybock is still looking for work
tonybock is pawning off family heirlooms at huge losses
tonybock is selling his possessions on the street
tonybock is stealing a cart from...
My blood alcohol level is NSFW right now
Dear Federal Government,
I’d like my bailout now.
Thank you.
Best,
Tony
My Diagnosis
“Poor Man’s Syndrome” the Doctor said to me… It’s a relapse…
Just a simple case of The Broke’s…
Thanks for everyone’s concern - hopefully I survive it.
Good Band Name:
Partisan Rancor
*** A QUICK NOTE BEFORE THE NEXT POST ***
I was feeling pretty good about the post before this one - the one about the coke dealing priest…
That was until I just fired up the DVR and watched “Saturday Night Live” and saw this joke that was on Weekend Update: “A Catholic priest on the University of Illinois campus has been charged with selling cocaine from his church...
Priest at U. of Illinois arrested for dealing blow
Authorities became suspicious when the University’s Saturday night Mass started attracting students from all over the Midwest, and a line outside the door to get in…
Father Christopher Layden was a beloved figure around campus for “making Miracles happen.”
Fr. Layden was well-known for saying some of the shortest Masses in the Catholic church. When he was really feeling...
The word "Hero"
is thrown about so loosely these days…
Firefighters, cops, soldiers, teachers - we hear them called “heroes” so much it’s kind of lost it’s value.
Let’s take a moment and salute real heroism - the kind you can relate to…the kind of everyday heroism this country prides itself on…
Because if the way I just rallied and had laundry picked up and then...
LADIES - get 'yer beer goggles on...
I’m goin’ out tonight!
SUCKONOMIX
The Hidden Side of Being Poor
I’ve come across a radically great new idea for obtaining goods and services without having to exchange any money for them.
It’s called using a “Card” or what I call a “Magical Free Stuff Card” for purchases.
The good news: “Cards” are actually pretty easy to obtain. If you see anything in the mail or on-line talking...
Good Band Name:
Mango Chutney
Because rent hasn't been taken out yet!!!
That’s why!
And I thought I was rich there for a second…
FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I gotta see if I can return that Butterfinger to that bodega - hopefully I can get my money back. It’s a start…
TIMEOUT!
HUDDLE UP!
Barack, Joe - over here, quick!
Biden, I need your eyes. Right here. Now.
Biden.
Okay.
Look, fellas - it’s slipping away, everyone knows it.
Barack - it’s like you’ve been channeling fucking Dukakis out there.
Get back on message. Now.
It’s obvious Palin-mania has thrown you guys off your game.
Nope! Stop!
Joe - I don’t want to hear it. Just shut...
Why Tuesday Sucks
Look at you. Sitting there barely keeping it together today…
It’s not just the weather, it’s not just your boss…it’s Tuesday - The Worst Day of the Week.
Monday’s gonna suck - that’s a given. Sucking is a big part of Monday’s brand. It’s an expectations game - you’ve come to terms with and accepted the fact that Monday’s just...
Recipe For A Fucked Up Kid:
1 part David Spade
1 part Playboy Playmate
1 part Pharmaceuticals & Mai Tai’s
1 part Boozy promises of a “Rules of Engagement” speaking role
1 part Really hilarious and touching “Tommy Boy” story
Mix and wait nine months
Giancarlo Esposito, an actor and member of The Creative Coaltion - a Hollywood nonpartisan arts charity - was at the Republican National Convention on behalf of the group.
His take?
“It was almost like a Hitler rally.”
Of course…
After a long and extensive search, Mr. Esposito was the most nonpartisan actor they could find in Hollywood.
Now can someone explain why...
You know who wasn't properly vetted?
My last girlfriend…
McCain Speech Reaction
I went up to the heart of McCain country in New York City - McCarren Park in Williamsburg - to watch him accept the Republican nomination for president.
There were McCain/Palin ‘08 signs everywhere (some trickster had even put a “McCain” sign over a McCarren sign to make it say McCain Park!) and a large crowd gathered to watch the speech. Most of the crowd were still swooning...
