July 2008
33 posts
This Day In Site History: July 31, 1892
Today we go back in the archives to see what was happening on the site on this day…116 years ago:
With “friends” like these…
Presidential candidate Grover Cleveland had to publicly distance himself from gangster conductor John Philip Sousa today. Cleveland, who once famously declared that he “got a great kick from Mr. Sousa’s marches” was piping mad over...
Good piece in the LA Times today about how Britney Spears has become boring and not as relevant culturally - she’s just not as interesting anymore and I for one am glad America’s once unhealthy Britney mobsession is starting to die down…
Anyway, enough of that…let’s see what’s going on in the Presidential campaign today…
McCain: New ad likens Obama...
Great Moments in "That's What She Said" History
A group of older Wall Street types huddle around a subway map at Bryant Park…one of them says “We gotta ride the D train” to the group when a punk teenage kid standing there drops it on ‘em - “That’s what she said!”
It took them a moment, but it was priceless when they realized their historic involvement in a classic “That’s what she...
Saw the Drudge headline “NYC storeowners fight off thieves with machetes” - eagerly clicked to see which borough…and then, well, I got a little misty eyed with pride for Brooklyn.
My Brooklyn.
Where storeowners fight off thieves with machetes!
You got a fuckin’ problem wit’ ‘dat?
* - That’s actually our borough’s official motto - “Where...
missed connections
m4w - R Train - 3:00 Thursday afternoon
I know you saw me…you were sitting right across from me and we were the only one’s on that side of the train.
You were in a stunning violet dress, reading Vogue with your Louis Vuitton bag in your lap.
I was in my Hooters t-shirt with the nacho cheese stain on the front, reading Maxim with my Payless ShoeSource bag in my lap.
The vibe was...
Somewhere in America...
A single mother gets $13,000 a year for making fries at McDonald’s.
A Honduran immigrant gets $11,000 a year for cleaning toilets at an office.
A high school dropout gets $10,000 a year for washing dishes at a truck stop.
A struggling egomaniac comedian gets $0.00 a year for writing at the website in his own name.
And…Mo Rocca gets I-don’t-know-how-many-thousands a year...
BUSH ON THE ECONOMY: “Wall Street got drunk.”
BOCK ON THE ECONOMY: “Then they slipped a fucking roofie in my drink!”
Most commonly had thought while walking through...
Oh, that looks cool…won’t last six months but it sure looks cool!
Second most commonly had thought:
What’s that smell?
I'm half expecting FOX News to
run a headline during the Obama Middle Eastern trip:
OBAMA RETURNS HOME
Good Website:
Heath Ledger’s Joker Is Your New Bicycle
Just like the Obama one, just it’s Heath Ledger’s Joker…
On The New Yorker Cover
NY TIMES: “The furor over this week’s New Yorker cover — the satirical cartoon of Barack and Michelle Obama in Muslim and black-militant poses — boils down to this: We get it, but what will those folks in fly-over country think?
The answer is that they get it as well. Irony, it turns out, does cross the Hudson River.”
...
Concert Review
While on the subway I was treated to an impromptu a capella live performance from an up-and-coming young hip-hop artist whose name I didn’t catch, unfortunately.
Here was his introductory rap to our car:
I’m the seventh letter of the alphabet,
Now that’s somethin’ that you won’t forget
I have to give the man his due - it is a memorable first line. It makes you...
Good Band Name:
Tatum O’Neal’s Dealer
The Democratic Party is the one that stands up for the rights of the poor and impoverished. The Democratic Party is the one where every voice is heard. The Democratic Party is the one that doesn’t shut anyone out.
The Democratic Party is the one…that’s trying to move the homeless of Denver into the Zoo and movie theatres during the convention.
Is it me or is there something...
Wrinkled Facebook
Facebook for old people.
You know, so as to make ‘em feel included - cut down the ageism in our society just a little bit.
They’re using the Wii, so why not Facebook?
Mini-Feed
Harold has changed his marital status from Widower to Available Widower.
Ethel’s Alzheimer’s has changed from Amusing to Mildly Annoying.
Fritz’s heart can no longer handle Viagra.
Rose...
Allow me to get my T. Boone Pickens on a moment...
…and for once in my life be part of the solution instead of part of the problem.
I can solve the energy crisis.
It’s simple.
We need to harvest the energy from people playing Rock Band/Guitar Hero and put it towards fuelling our great nation.
Admit it - it’s actually the best idea anyone’s put out there yet.
CONSPIRACY!
My flight from Minneapolis to Omaha - no air conditioning.
We had to shut the window shades the whole flight, as I drifted in and out of consciousness…
I get to Omaha - talk to my sister - she was on a flight from Ohio to Omaha on Sunday - no air conditioning.
Neighbor lady’s kid was on a recent flight - no air conditioning.
Malfunctions or cost saving measures???
Somebody get on...
You could describe my driver as "violently...
…but that would not do justice to the man’s rage.
Good Band Name:
Seersucker Yarmulke
John McCain announced today he’s going to be holding his convention speech at a local International House of Pancakes.
“We just thought the response might be a little more enthusiastic,” said campaign chief Steve Schmidt.
I am to comedy what Roger Federer is to comedy
Measuring the Drapes
So there’s an old political phrase - “Measuring the Drapes” - which means a candidate is acting so cockily he’s actually measuring the drapes to the Oval Office before the election and not staying focused on the issues.
I’d like to propose changing/updating that phrase to:
“Taking the TV Out of the Lincoln Bedroom”
[From Time Magazine:] “Only recently have McCain’s aides urged him to pull back from the pastime. In the heat of the G.O.P. primary fight last spring, he announced on a visit to the Vegas Strip that he was going to the casino floor. When his aides stopped him, fearing a public relations disaster, McCain suggested that they ask the casino to take a craps table to a private room, a...
MADONNA & A-ROD A-THANG
That feisty diva! That saucy bitch! That sassy queen!
…and then there’s Madonna…wow…
For the record - I never understood why people liked Madonna as a singer…now as an author I thought she was awesome…
I don’t know if they have a cute celeb couple moniker yet, but may I propose A-MAD (Pronounced “A-Mod”)
