May 2008
36 posts
"A great niche entity"
- A television bigshot describing me, to me, last night
That which does not kill me...
…gives me ulcers.
Sometimes...
A rich, accomplished, well off New York individual who’s “made it” by every imaginable standard, will “politely” listen to just a small, minuscule dose of your troubles - with the smuggest look on their face the whole time - then they’ll chime in with something to the effect of theyknowit’stoughbut…they almost wish they were back in a situation like...
ROVE: McClellan Sounds Like Left Wing Blogger Yeah, kinda’ does…I think that’s why it’s news - cuz he used to be press secretary and all… But it explains why he looked so terribly uncomfortable at all those press briefings…he was a lib!
Production Assistant 101
As a survivor of the television game in NYC going on a shocking seven years now, let me tell you that somewhere around year five, if you have any soul left at all, you start to seriously ponder how you’re gonna get out and how else, any way else you can make a living and survive. And one of the easiest ways out is academia. You still get the chicks, the adoration, a guaranteed paying...
"Heavy Drinkers' Genes May Cut Cancer Risk"
Nice! “Heavy Drinking Raises Risk of Liver Cancer” Oh…not so nice.
INT. JOHN MCCAIN’S SEDONA, ARIZONA RANCH LIVING ROOM - THIS WEEKEND Seated amongst leather and cactus in the western themed living room, Republican presidential candidate SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN begins interviewing three potential vice presidential candidates, GOV. BOBBY JINDAL of Louisiana, GOV. CHARLIE CRIST of Florida and former GOV. MITT ROMNEY of Massachusetts. ...
Hack-A-Bock
Seems to be the strategy they’re using against me at work today…
The new "Grand Theft Auto" should have
a level where it’s raining and you have your umbrella and you have to stay dry while going through the crowded streets as you use your umbrella as a weapon, killing all the annoying and dangerous Liberty City pedestrians who are getting in your face… Or is that just my “raining in New York” fantasy? No way - everyone would love to just start slaughtering people with their...
This Day In Site History: May 19, 1899
Today we go back in the archives to see what was happening on the site on this day…109 years ago: What the Sam Hill is with these coots? You heard what these dash Wright Brothers are trying to do? They’re trying to FLY!! Now I’ve seen the elephant! Sin to Moses! If God’d wanted us to fly He’d of given us wings. And the way they’re so cocky about it - they think...
“There is a passive-aggressiveness in the way this business functions. Basically the old adage that no one in Hollywood ever says no is shockingly true.”
Green Comedy
I’m proud to announce that tonybock.com is now a completely green comedy website! This post is officially certified green, people! An offset was purchased accounting for the carbon footprint of all prior posts as well - they were environmentally retrofitted to enhance their greenness… Green.
You think you've had it tough?
Well just take one second and consider what the economy’s done to President Bush… All the man did was bravely decide to get out of the private sector and serve and look at the thanks he gets - over the past eight years his worth has dropped from $24 million to $6.5 million. And with the job market as it is you know he’s gonna struggle finding work after the term. By the way,...
Liberals are angry that the new HBO movie about the 2000 election recount places the “blame” on weak leadership by Al Gore’s top advisers. Warren Christopher, the public face of the Gore recount effort, has gone so far as to call the movie “pure fiction.” It’s especially surprising since the film, “Recount” is an HBO project - this ain’t a...
Good Band Name:
Windfall Profits Tax
Should I have gone pro earlier?
It’s a question I can’t help but ask myself. Frequently. After all - what’d that last year of college and diploma ever get me? It hurt me, I’d argue at this point…
It's not me, right?
It’s everbody else… Right? I mean, it’s obviously them. Can’t be me. Can’t be. I’m…me. It’s them. Not me. Right? It has to be them. It just can’t be me. Right? Can it? You’re right - it is them. Thanks…I feel better now.
SUCKONOMIX
The Hidden Side of Being Poor Some musings on how to double a loaf of bread. I’ve been engaged in some great and necessary research and am ready to report that you can get a lot more mileage out of your bread loaf like this: Instead of using two pieces of bread for a sandwich - take your bologna and mustard and put it on top of one (1) slice of bread - and then don’t put a second...
In Lieu of a Suicide Note
Ryan Reynolds is the luckiest man of our times??? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????????????????????????????
To any of my co-workers reading this:
If you see me passed out on the keyboard again…WAKE ME UP! They were kind of pissed about the snoring. Thanks.
I'm not saying it isn't a serious offense, but...
Isn’t there just something about the phrase “Boating While Intoxicated” that brings a smile to your face? And has anyone in the history of this nation ever boated without being intoxicated? Not in the America I know and love. Ced - you might want to check these guys out.
If My Life Had a NY Post-style Headline
Today’s would be: NAIL BREAK! Disaster in Bklyn’ when disgusting, brittle toenail breaks in half during pants put-on mishap.
They won't answer my chat quesiton!
Which is - what the fuck does this have to do with sports?
You've been hanging around ad people too much...
You advise some friends to consider how their baby name “brands” their newborn.
Slump Buster
Baseball players coined the term “Slump Buster” for when they bed the most unattractive female they can in order to end a slump. And that is the ONLY possible explanation for - and this is challenging just to write, a-hem - Dwayne Wade and Star Jones!?!? Or…he’s gay. Maybe that’s it… Either way, surprising…
Pressure is mounting on presidential candidate Barack Obama to denounce his former musical advisor Kanye West. Controversial rapper West, who’s 2005 album Late Registration is on Obama’s i-Pod, is currently in hot water for a lyric from the song “Heard ‘Em Say” in which West says: “…and I know the government administered AIDS…” “I was not...
"Alcohol linked to aggression"
“Drinking Dampens Ability to Feel Fear” Thank you, MSN for that breaking and unbelievable news.
The Oklahoma City Durant's
Not that anyone’s asking, but that’s what I’d name their new NBA team…