October 2008
27 posts
A Nonpartisan Voting Guide for 2008
I thought I’d take a minute and actually do a serious post today, as the Election is coming up and I think it’s really important for everyone to be educated on the big issues of the day and where the candidates stand.
So…I’m gonna break it down by issue here and try and give an unbiased, strictly journalistic take on who’s stronger for the good of our great nation.
...
On this week’s Too Jaded Failures…
…a .750 of blue label…december 12, 2012…on vinyl…
Get yourself a mug of warm cocoa and snuggle up with some Failures!
My Poverty is Recession-proof!
Girls
I will not be here in New York for Halloween this year, so…
If you need me to know how slutty your (most likely Sarah Palin) costume is please just go ahead and send in a photo for me…
I will be in Omaha, Nebraska - not quite as fun as New York on Halloween (unless you’re six years old) - for any young lady there who wants a personal costume sluttiness evaluation.
Whatever happened with that one thing?
Oh, that…
I’m glad you asked!
It’s a long, complicated story, actually. It was crazy… It just got way off track, and I’m sorry it didn’t go as planned.
There’s still a lot of talk about it, though. Really. And…
I mean, it’s done… it’s just not finished - I’ve learned there’s a big difference when we’re talking...
If My Life Had a NY Post-style Headline
Today’s would be: UnBRRRRable! Ballsack temp reaches record lows in Brooklyn apt. freeze
I'd give anything...
To be able to control the heat at my landlord’s place…for just one night even…
(Hey, Amado Mir:) TURN THE FUCKING HEAT ON!!!!!!!!!
I just shut the blinds to keep heat in. I’m wearing five layers. akjl;fkaj;a
I was shivering too much to type the third thing just then.
To those of you who aren’t poor or don’t live in New York City, I should explain, I...
On this week’s Too Jaded Failures…
…no success zone…she works hard for the money…michael jackson bad?…friday is the new monday…
Listen! Subscribe! Sing along at home!
I have to say that “Mad Men” is the best show I haven’t watched since “The Wire.”
SOXUAL HARASSMENT
Congrats are in order to something called the “Tampa Bay Rays” for beating the Boston Red Sox to make the World Series!
Makes being a New York baseball fan somewhat more tolerable…
I wish the government would pass a law that makes it illegal for me to buy Sangria by the jug.
If anyone’s interested in making a charitable contribution, let me suggest a small donation to the ANTHONY MICHAEL BOCK FOUNDATION - “A Foundation for Struggling Comics.” Established in 2008, your donation will go a long way towards helping a young comedian survive…and will give you a nice tax break!
Contact me for details… Please.
IT WAS A HOUSE OF CARDS BUILT ON TOP OF A PILE OF...
What’s “It?”
Pretty much everything.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
And that’s Grandpa Wayne, signing off for the week.
* This post written by Tony’s Grandpa Wayne - a Guest Contributor for the week
Why the hell is it
when I’m watching somethin’ on the tube and a commercial comes on the VOLUME ON THE DAMN AD IS TEN TIMES LOUDER THAN THE DAMN SHOW WAS?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I know Tony has some people who work in TV reading this thing, so please fix that!
* This post written by Tony’s Grandpa Wayne - a Guest Contributor for the week
Mornin’ everybody. It’s about 60 and beautiful here today. Might be clouds later.
Tony thought I should put this up:
tonybock: Hey Grandpa, great job so far!
nra4life: Hi sweetheart! Thanks!!!! It’s been a hoot!
tonybock: Anything cookin’ for today?
nra4life: Nope… Certainly nothing happened during that “debate” worth talking about.
tonybock: Yeah. I...
Grandpa Wayne's Bailout Plan
Step #1: Go down to the bank, bailout all my money in cash, take the money home.
Step #2: Put my money in a shoebox.
Step #3: Put the shoebox under the bed, scatter some newspaper around it.
Step #4: Activate the new “bank security system” - my 12 gauge Remington.
* This post written by Tony’s Grandpa Wayne - a Guest Contributor for the week
***Site Note***
I will be unable to post this week due to a schedule conflict…
Good news, though - I’ve arranged for a guest contributor.
My Grandpa Wayne will be writing on the site this week in my absence. He’s very, very funny and I think you’ll like him. He’s also the only writer I could pay in Diet Dr. Pepper… So he’ll be checking in when it strikes him.
Good Band Name:
Spike Lee & The Italians
Bockstitution
Times have gotten kinda’ tough, and I’m sad to say it’s come to this, but…
I will be offering my services out as a Bockstitute if anybody’s interested… I’ll give you the full B.F.E. - Bock Friend Experience…
That’s right, I’ll kick it with you as if we were actually old friends. We can talk politics, we can watch a movie - you pick -...
It was fear that made me sound that way.
Fear that I’d be exposed. I didn’t know Spanish. There was no way around it. Somehow I’d gotten into 200-level Spanish classes at a University - and I had to pass, but I just didn’t know it… and when I spoke, I filled the void with words… I knew it didn’t make sense, the important thing was that there wasn’t...
Dear Luck,
I don’t understand what happened between us. I guess I don’t understand anything anymore.
Was it something I said?
Did?
I take it back. All of it. Everything.
I never thought it would be this way between you and I… Where did we go wrong?
Where did I go wrong?
Just tell me!
It’s okay… You can tell me. I won’t get mad.
Things used to be so fucking great!
...