tony bock

award-wanting writer * comic * actor * producer


porn foley artist  +  live @ gotham  +  bombing w/footnotes! +  x-bock +  pinkman impression +  p.s.a.  +  true blood hero  +  explosivo live show  +  tmz animals +  stand-up @ carolines = over one million views, son

I GET A LOT OF HATE FOLLOWS

(while driving!)

BOSS: I love your camouflage lingerie prototype pieces - they’re awesome! Great job!
DESIGNER: Thank you so much!
BOSS: It’s just - I don’t know - I think the all-camouflage is a bit much. We need to add the teensiest touch of femininity and class.
DESIGNER: Right, right…
BOSS: Plus, if it’s all-camouflage it might be a turn-off to some of the guys - how are they even gonna know it’s for ladies?
DESIGNER: It could confuse them, I guess…
BOSS: Yes… Yes it could. We definitely don’t want them accidentally putting this on themselves then accidentally kinda’ liking it. 
DESIGNER: Absolutely. That could be dangerous. 
BOSS: What if we added frilly pink lace around the top?
DESIGNER: (long sigh) Frilly pink lace? Whoa. That’s… Jeez… That’s pretty radical. You don’t think that’s too Victoria’s Secret-y? 
BOSS: No, I think it’ll work. 
DESIGNER: What about neon orange?
BOSS: No. That’s got the same issues, I think.
DESIGNER: Okay, I’ll give the pink a shot - like some sorta Goddamn Paris sissy boy camouflage lingerie designer… I just pray this doesn’t kill my reputation! 

BOSS: I love your camouflage lingerie prototype pieces - they’re awesome! Great job!

DESIGNER: Thank you so much!

BOSS: It’s just - I don’t know - I think the all-camouflage is a bit much. We need to add the teensiest touch of femininity and class.

DESIGNER: Right, right…

BOSS: Plus, if it’s all-camouflage it might be a turn-off to some of the guys - how are they even gonna know it’s for ladies?

DESIGNER: It could confuse them, I guess…

BOSS: Yes… Yes it could. We definitely don’t want them accidentally putting this on themselves then accidentally kinda’ liking it. 

DESIGNER: Absolutely. That could be dangerous. 

BOSS: What if we added frilly pink lace around the top?

DESIGNER: (long sigh) Frilly pink lace? Whoa. That’s… Jeez… That’s pretty radical. You don’t think that’s too Victoria’s Secret-y

BOSS: No, I think it’ll work. 

DESIGNER: What about neon orange?

BOSS: No. That’s got the same issues, I think.

DESIGNER: Okay, I’ll give the pink a shot - like some sorta Goddamn Paris sissy boy camouflage lingerie designer… I just pray this doesn’t kill my reputation! 

Frequently Asked Questions

Does anybody read this crap?

Amazingly, everybody reads this crap.

Your photographs for the Toronto Star are wonderful - why is your “comedy” writing so lame?

Different Tony Bock - sorry.

Will you *please* stop whistling?

Let me try.

Okay…

No…

Sorry…it’s just, I can’t get “Superstition” out of my head…

Can you do a “comedy” video with your shirt on?

No.

How much money have you made off all your internet success?

Negative $8500 dollars.

You just don’t get it, do you?

Obviously not.

Will the defendant please rise?

Yes, Your Honor.

Is this bit over yet?

No.

Okay…Now it is.