AS CLOSE AS I’M GONNA GET TO BEING ON THE NEW SEASON
“Well, at least Kanye’s not taking himself too seriously.” - Helen Keller
Syria
should probably prepare itself for an intense Shock & Audit campaign from U.S. forces.
My Sex Appeal
lies somewhere on the spectrum between George Will and Rick Steves.
I’d describe my style as like Mitch Hedberg if he had sucked at comedy.
Starting a Kickstarter
if I raise enough dough I’ll quit doing comedy!
THIS COULD BE HUUUUUGE!!!!!
DO 3-D PRINTERS MAKE DIGNITY???
Asking for an imaginary friend…
Misunderstanding!
I said I was a “Let Down Comic” not a “Put Down Comic”…
Your bad.
When I told you I was at The Comedy Store & The Improv alot,
I meant that I was the shady guy out front trying to sell Vine followers to the comics…
In Janis Joplin Voice:
Partner is just another word for no one left to screw
I have a bright past.
…so bright I have to have my extra strength Tequila Goggles on to handle looking at it!!!
I may start wearing a “Tony Bock” t-shirt during performances so people know that the tired old man laboriously prancing around stage doing my material is, in fact, me.
The knife-wielding woman arrested after a standoff at the house of American Pie “star” Eddie Kaye Thomas yesterday was described on the news as a “friend” or “guest” or “date” - they’d just met the night before and she apparently lost her shit the next day when asked to leave…
Fellas, we’ve all woken up in the situation homeboy was in… amirite?
We’ve all taken home a buttersanity or two before…
Sounds like he just made a new fuckemy.
Great fodder to get the franchise goin’ again, though. Same thing happens to his character Paul Finch, then the chick gets preggers! Something, something, something: Hilarity.
