- you’re painting, and in the course of a project red paint was spilled on your neck
- you’ve been bit on the neck by a spider or insect of some sort, causing a rash or skin abnormality
- your neck, as opposed to the rest of your body, adheres to a communist ideology
- you are artist Red Grooms
- you are a cardinal
- in the course of being amorous, you’ve received multiple overlapping hickeys during “necking”
- you’ve neglected to cover your neck and received an overexposure of ultraviolet radiation rays
- for any reason whatsoever, light with spectral coordinates somewhere between 620 and 740nm & a frequency between 480 and 400THz hits you anywhere between the anterior belly of your Digastricus and your Supraclavicular fossa
TONY enters the Chinese restaurant and approaches the LADY behind the counter. He peruses the menu a moment.
I’ll have, uhm… the Shrimp in Green Dragon Sauce.
She raises an eyebrow and shoots Tony a furtive glance.
Is it really spicy?
It’s not too spicy.
She covers her face with her hands, nervously.
Do you want to know what’s in the sauce?
Yeah, most people order, then find out what’s in it and cancel.
(looooooong contemplative pause)
Okay, what’s in it?
She stands there, stoically.
Do you like cumin?
Yeah, I like cumin…
That’s what bothers people about it?
Oh, no… It’s the rest of what’s in the sauce.
Don’t tell me, I don’t care… I don’t wanna know.
TELL ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!
She opens her mouth to respond.
STOP! DON’T TELL ME!!!!!!!
—-And that concludes today’s edition of Basically Verbatim Theatre—-
* - it’s taking all the strength I can muster to not google the name of the restaurant and “Green Dragon Sauce”… but it was damn good.